Kelvin's Story

Life didn’t start well for me as I was born with several life-threatening illnesses. I was diagnosed with chronic asthma, a host of allergies, and severe eczema, which covered most of my body. At age 2, I suffered a severe asthma attack which forced my parents to drive over 50 miles to the nearest hospital, with me lying at my mothers’ feet so that I could breathe. By the time they arrived at the hospital, my whole body had turned blue due to the lack of oxygen. This kickstarted a series of trips in and out of hospitals and propelled my mother’s obsession with babying me to keep me safe.

When I was 5, my family moved to Oliver, BC, where my grandparents lived. For the next 12 years, I struggled with bullies and felt like I didn’t belong. Most of the time, I didn’t even feel like I belonged in my own family. And my health problems only continued. My eczema became so bad that my knuckles would split open, and my hands would bleed constantly. I lost all of my fingernails and toenails because the eczema had spread underneath. And years later, even when they grew back, they remained bumpy and rough. Because my skin was so dry and flakey, I was nicknamed alligator boy. This nickname would stick with me until I finished elementary school — a place in which I had little to no friends.

Once I entered junior high, I thought that maybe things would be different, but I was wrong. The bullying only continued to get worse. The only friends I had were kids in the same boat. Like me, they were picked on, pushed around, and never managed to fit in. They were my support system. Life continued like this until Grade 11. This was when I discovered beer, which I never really liked. Vodka, which I did like. And marijuana, which I loved because it allowed me to escape.

These discoveries grew into 30-plus years of substance abuse. To escape the things that tormented me, I used pot, hash, oil, acid, mushrooms, alcohol, and cocaine. My addiction came before most other things— my kids, family, friends, food, or a home— though I was fortunate never to experience homelessness throughout my addiction. In all this time, I never thought I had a problem.

Over the course of 30 years, I lost many things. My first marriage fell apart due to addiction and domestic abuse between my partner and I. Like me, she struggled with addiction. A year after my first daughter was born, I began using cocaine heavily, eventually running away because I couldn’t handle being around her without using it. After this, I went to live with my mother, thinking that things would change. And for a while, they did. Eventually, however, the drinking and smoking persisted, and things continued until I met my current wife.

My second daughter was born in 2002. I had been clean for about two years at this point and had gotten a job as a truck driver where drug testing was mandatory to be hired, and random tests were done periodically. I was able to avoid drugs for almost 3 and a half years while employed and only drank occasionally. Trouble struck when illness returned, and I lost my job. The depression and drugs returned.

My wife and I had just bought our first home, but illness meant I couldn’t work. When I was finally able to work again, we had already lost our car and our home. This time, I has also found a job where I could continue to feed my addiction.

 Over the next 10-plus years, I’d continue to struggle through the highs and lows of addiction. Throughout this time, I moved in and out of various jobs. Occasionally, my jobs would require drug testing, helping me regain my sobriety for a while. But when this wasn’t the case, I’d find myself picking up old habits once more.

In 2020, I was approaching 4 years of sobriety before the unexpected happened, and my mother passed away. I didn’t know how to deal with it so I began using again, promising myself it would be only on weekends. This promise lasted for maybe a week or so before I was back in my old routine, using anytime and anywhere

After 2 years of this, I started to feel that something was changing. The drugs weren’t doing what I wanted anymore, and I felt it in my heart and soul. Four days before the second anniversary of my mother’s passing, I got called on for a random drug test. I failed! In many ways, I believe everything that happened was a way of my mom still trying to take care of me from beyond.

This experience pushed me toward Simon House. I truly believe that if it had not been for those circumstances I would not be here today. I see my mom as my higher power, along with the creator. And I do believe that they, along with Simon House, saved my life. Today, 6 months later I am doing great after finding support through the Indigenous program at the house. I am working on recovery this program, something I could never do before. In the past, I knew how to clean up and get sober, but I didn’t know how to stay that way. Simon House has taught me how and for that, I am eternally grateful.

I’m currently enrolled in a college course, on my way to becoming an addictions counsellor — my way of giving back for all that has been given to me.

— Kelvin