Riz's Story

At 15, I started drinking. And once I started, I couldn’t stop.

Throughout Highschool, I’d carry around a bottle of Coca-Cola mixed with hard liquor so that I could keep drinking without people noticing. At first, I just liked the way that alcohol made me feel. I felt more comfortable, more confident, and more able to talk to girls. It helped me feel like I was a part of something.

From 15-17, my drinking steadily grew. So did the amount that I found myself in trouble. When I look back now, I can so clearly see that everything negative — fights, criminal charges, drinking and driving — were all connected to drugs or alcohol. Without the substances, I wasn’t an aggressive or violent kid, but with them, that’s exactly who I became.

Toward the end of high school, many people I knew started experimenting with cocaine. At first, I wouldn’t go near it, but when I finally gave in, it only took one line, and things started to spiral out of control. When the time came, I couldn’t finish high school and left without an education and a growing reputation for trouble.

My lifestyle continued this way well into my twenties, which is when I began using harder drugs. There’s not much I can say about this time in my life other than that my addiction was everything to me. There isn’t a single thing I wouldn’t have done to get the next fix — lie, cheat, steal, fight, you name it.

I had gotten to a point in my life where my addiction had created so much damage that my relationship with friends and family was in ruins. They’d lost faith in me and didn’t have anything more to give when it came to trying to help me stay out of trouble. I no longer had people I could turn to or stay with while I spent my days feeding my addiction. For the first time, I was truly out of options, living on the streets with nowhere to go, no prospects, and no one willing to bail me out.

I can remember so clearly that it hit me that I didn’t want the life I had created. I had been wandering downtown Calgary, along 17th avenue, in the early hours of the morning. I hadn’t slept in 2 or 3 days, doing anything and everything to find a way to get my hands on more drugs. I was desperate and exhausted. At that moment, I looked up the empty street to my left and then to my right. In that second, I found myself thinking, “This is your home. This is where you live, here on these streets.” Something about that thought shook me, and I turned on that spot and began walking toward the c-train. I wasn’t going to live like this — I needed to make a change.

That’s when I came to Simon House.

When I first arrived, I had no other options, so I just followed the steps. I was at a point in my life where I didn’t believe in anything, but I was desperate enough — I didn’t want to be outside anymore. For the first 3 months, that’s all I did. Wake up and put one foot in front of the other, listening to counsellors, taking advice, and just completing the steps. At the end of those 3 months, is when I first began to notice the changes.

Change was showing up in the smallest of ways for me. Classes that I used to go to because I had to, I now went to because I wanted to. The words I was saying, outwardly and inwardly, I had started to say with conviction. I had begun to believe in what they meant rather than just saying them because I knew I had to. I was no longer at Simon House because I had to be there. I was at Simon House because I liked it there.

The cool thing with Simon House is that you learn to do little things that make a big difference to who you are, how you see yourself, and the way that you think. While I lived at the house, this was as simple as shaving daily and making my bed each morning. I learned that when you look good and feel good, you walk out into the world with that attitude — something I still believe today. Not only that, but the people at Simon House who want to see you succeed are people that have been through what you’re up against. They’ve had their own experiences with addiction, have made it through, have educated themselves on how to help others, and then have come back to do just that. That’s something I can’t speak highly enough of when it comes to Simon House.

In the year I lived there, I continued to do the work. When it came time to find part-time work, I only cared about finding a job that would allow me to focus on my recovery. I didn’t want to get distracted by money, status, or anything else that would take me away from where was now. So, I got a job at a gas station nearby, working for minimum wage, and walking to and from the house each day. I can vividly remember walking home from a shift one night and thinking, “God, I’m never going to own my own home, I’m probably never going to have a family or be someone’s partner, but I’m clean, and I’m sober, and I’m so happy with just that.” This acceptance was crucial to my recovery. I didn’t need to have all this ‘nice stuff’ because I already had the thing that mattered most, my sobriety.

Since then, I’ve graduated from Simon House and started building a life for myself. What blows my mind is that the same guy who walked into Simon House with a garbage bag of clothes, no education, and no other options has been able to build a new life. I slowly began to get the things I said I’d never have, all because I followed the steps. Today, I’m married, have a kid, and have started my own business. I still haven’t finished my Highschool education, but it doesn’t matter because I continued to focus on my sobriety as the one thing that did.  

If I could give one piece of advice to anyone considering coming to Simon House, it’s to show up, shut down anything that makes you think you know better, and just listen and do what you’re told. If you can do this, you’ll be alright. If you can just get clean, the sky’s the limit.

Riz

—Simon House Alumni