Kerry's Story

It was a beautiful afternoon as I drove up the road towards the center. I could see the mountain tops through the swaying trees and smell the fresh air that blew through my car window. Horses were running along the fences as if to welcome me — today was the day I would receive my Eagle Feather and Indian name through ceremony.

When I arrived, I was surrounded by the most beautiful people dressed in ceremonial clothing. Everyone had gathered, and the little children were already giggling as the Elder and Grandmothers shared stories and teachings.

I couldn't help but feel that sense of belonging and welcoming as we sat and shared food and gifts. I felt overcome by a strong realization that this was what I had been missing my whole life. This was who I was and who I was supposed to be. It was here that I finally understood and experienced the meaning of culture, ceremony, and family values sitting alongside my new friends and family. But I also struggled with a deep hurt that emerged from the knowledge that I could have been saved years of heartache had both my mother and I grown up in this culture.

Growing up as the descendent of a Residential School Survivor was not easy, and I've often wondered who my people were. My mom never talked about any family, having known very little about them herself.

The Residential School system was designed to remove all aspects of culture and identity from First Nations, Metis, and Inuit Peoples. These schools were a form of assimilation and, as we are finding out through the discovery of thousands of little children's graves, a horrible act of Cultural genocide. As Senator Murray Sinclair said, "it was the darkest chapter in our country's collective history," and he was right.

As a young girl leaving the so-called school, my mother's medical records simply stated that she was a dark-skinned Indian girl who appeared to be alone in the world. This was the entirety of the knowledge that she was given in lieu of the family history she had been denied.

But there comes a time in one's life when we experience a deep desire to find out who we are and where we come from. In my own experience, this quest for answers did not arrive quickly, nor was it laid out easily for me. The people the Creator puts in your path, even when you least expect it, are the ones who can provide answers and meaning. However, the knowledge of where and how my family belonged had been erased and it was upon me to find a way back.

Today, as we move forward in our lives with healing, I am very proud to be a part of a program at Simon House that excludes no one. This program sees through the heartache of trauma and addiction and brings the true spirit of each person it serves back to who they are supposed to be, and their true identity.

My name is "Shagannapi" – Rawhide Rope

— Kerry