Austin's Story
My name is Austin, and I am an Alcoholic. My life of addiction started when I was a young, scared boy, entering my first group home with Woods Homes.
I was the youngest in the house at that time, and I can remember how all the older boys were always going out drinking, doing coke and smoking weed. I didn't fit in and was a bit of a lost kid. I didn't know who I was and struggled with the idea that this was where I would live from now on. I felt unloved and unwanted.
At this point in my life, I felt like the only way to fit in was to start using drugs alongside the other kids in my home. When I was using drugs and getting drunk, I felt that people liked me for the first time in my life. I loved using drugs because I loved the way they made me feel. I felt like I was the "man," or, in that case, the "kid." My addiction didn't take full force until I became homeless shortly after my 18th birthday. That was when I fell in love with meth.
Drugs took over my life in ways I can't even describe. I found myself getting into more and more trouble and was repeatedly in and out of jail. It was fun at first; in fact, I loved it. The rush of committing a crime and the effect of the drugs was exciting, but eventually, it wasn't fun anymore. I became stuck in a cycle of depression and constant thoughts of ending my life. I was too scared to die, but I didn't want to live. I hated the person I became. But it was also all I knew.
A part of me genuinely wanted to get help and get sober, but another part felt like I didn't deserve it. I believed that all the horrible things I'd done and all the innocent people I'd hurt in doing so meant that it wasn't worth it for me to become sober. In the depths of my addiction, I was selfish. I was only out for myself, getting high, and making money.
On September 24th, 2020, my life drastically changed when I was accepted into the Calgary drug treatment court program and came to Simon House. Simon House is where my life changed forever. I learned how to change my thinking, and I started to understand and practice the steps and principles of AA. It was here that I realized that I had been suffering as an alcoholic as well as an addict for most of my life.
One of the most helpful moments in my recovery came from looking at the harm, hurt, and betrayal I'd caused and learning to let go of the guilt and shame that surrounded it. Steps 4 and 5 of the program were essential for this, and the feeling after doing so is something I still can't quite describe. I finally felt free. A huge weight had lifted off my shoulders.
From day one of this journey, there are many things I'm incredibly thankful for. Having an amazing sponsor in my life has helped me in so many ways. The laughs, the cries, and the friendships I've had at Simon House are something I will never forget. The conversations with the staff and some amazing memories will always be in my heart. I am so thankful that Simon House accepts people from Calgary Drug Treatment Court, or I would never have had the chance to be a part of such a beautiful place. Simon House is my second home, and I'm so grateful for the experience.
I am now 2 years, 1 month, and 13 days sober, and the life I have today is something I could never have dreamt. I've found peace and serenity with the world and myself. While every day can't be perfect, I've developed an outlook on how I view the world and my life that I'm incredibly proud of.
I have real friends and people that I care about and who care about me. I'm not out for myself anymore, and I can live freely as a person. Today, I am a part of the Simon House Alumni, and being able to go back to the house and talk to the new guys and do fun things with them warms my heart each time. The feeling I get returning is incredible. I'm never going to stop learning and growing. Thank you, Simon House, for building me up into the man I am today!
— Austin