Jeff's Story

I first started using drugs when I was thirteen years old. I had my first drink at the age of 15 and continued to use alcohol, gambling, sex, violence, hate, and manipulation to make myself feel something which I thought was real. Once I felt different than who I really was growing up as a kid by using substances and selfish actions, there was no turning back. It took 26 long years of fear and self-consciousness to find a solution to my innermost problem. My past is sordid. I’ve experienced extreme violence, deaths, and abuse of all kinds. Some of this, I experienced myself but most of it I inflicted on others. I now have nothing but love for those who may have been sick and hurt me in the past. I also have nothing but love for myself today, thanks to God, Simon House, and the various programs of recovery and fellowships who have guided me on this journey of eternal sobriety.

After building up careers, friendship circles, relationships with family, romantic relationships, and an Ego-driven self, I inevitably self-sabotaged my life repeatedly. I used to gamble in my addiction. At times it was for fun, out of necessity in other moments, but the worst of all were the times where it was out of desperation. A favorite saying my old self used to say was, “If I am going to lose something, I want to feel it”. This may as well have been my life’s motto for the past two and a half decades.

Today, I don't believe gambling was an addiction for me, rather, I feel it was a byproduct of my compulsive behaviours while under the influence of drugs and alcohol. It wasn’t until I was humbled enough to change my life that I no longer had the desire to use substances or allow my negative behaviour to dictate who I am as a person.

After losing everything for the last time I knew I had to make a change or die. In August of 2021, I decided, that with the help of my family, I would detox at a motel for about two weeks in Calgary. The motivation behind the detox was the chance I believed I had to regain my old life and all those who were in it. I went to treatment at Simon House Recovery Centre for everyone but myself. Thank God I stayed in said treatment, because this is precisely where I found my true self. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to work on myself for the 84-day treatment period at Simon House, where I let go of my old ways and completely surrendered to the program. I followed the rules, took suggestions, and went above and beyond the necessary requirement the house expected of me. This gave me a routine and solid foundation to progress as a more productive, caring, and helpful member of society.

Whilst in treatment I was introduced to a 12-step program which fundamentally changed the way I acted and how I viewed the rest of the world. The people, places, and things which used to drive me to hate, violence, crime, deception, a negative attitude towards life, and most importantly, to use mind-altering substances to numb out feelings were now a distant memory of someone I used to be.

For the past year, I have helped countless people on the streets, in recovery, and those in the community. I have saved lives. I have brought people back to life by administering Naloxone more times than I can count. Sometimes, this has been on the same person more than once. This is not a coincidence or a matter of being in the right place at the right time, so to speak, but a Divine intervention from God, ever reminding me that I was spared for a reason and, if I want the life that was truly meant for me, I will be given many opportunities to show how much I want it. Thanks to this program of recovery, there is no case too pitiable, no person too unapproachable, no amount of social disconnection that is going to deter me from helping a fellow human being. I chose to live and now I promote life wherever I go.

I decided to move to the Salvation Army's Centre of Hope after treatment, against everyone else’s better judgement and advice. I chose to live where the most help was needed in our city. For almost nine months, I spent every day putting myself at personal risk to help those less fortunate than most. I can be amongst addicts while they are in active use. I am a part of the streets as much as the addicts are. I just have a new outlook on life which helps guide me to living in God’s will instead of my own.

As for a career, I chose to give up my out prestigious career as a successful demolition estimator/superintendent to pursue what I love to do, and what acts as a form of daily therapy for me now. My name is Jeff Burns and I am an artist. I donate portions of the proceeds of my art to buy meals for those who can’t afford them, I make my financial amends with my artwork sales, and most importantly, becoming a full-time artist has given me the chance to be flexible in my work, allowing me to drop everything and help another addict in their recovery find hope.

Thank you to everyone who has been a part of my journey, and letting me be a part of theirs.

Jeff. B

— Simon House Alumni