Daryl's Story

I may use the words "us/we," but with all due respect because what I am writing about is relatable to some, if not most of us who have lived in a world of addictive and/or criminal behaviors as a result of trauma. 

We all start out as innocent, beautiful, perfect, and helpless. How we are raised and taught about life significantly affects our growth into adulthood. Some are fortunate in their upbringing, while others aren't so lucky to grow up in a loving, trusting, and respectful environment. In both instances, these circumstances can be generational. Without proper guidance, healthy teachings, or in the presence of mental health issues, some of us fall through the cracks and live on the fringe of society, looking in. We simply survive; we don't live our lives as everyone is entitled to. Without that knowledge, we don't get to nurture the gifts we are born with. And not only do we lose, but our communities also suffer the loss. 

I've been grateful to experience long periods of recovery in my life and, with help and understanding, I've managed to overcome most of the traumas I've faced. Unfortunately, in 2021, I had to venture out and conduct some relapse research. After six months, my research came to an end with the intervention of the Calgary Police Service, who arrested me for committing crimes to sustain my addiction. I viewed it as a "rescue." I remember sitting handcuffed in the back of that police van that morning, feeling a sense of relief wash over me. It was finally over. I had once again destroyed my life. Can you imagine being arrested and feeling thankful for it? I ended nearly four years of recovery this time. It began with losing many clients due to COVID, and instead of utilizing the recovery tools I had, I started letting things slip through my hands. I ignored the warning signs of an impending relapse, succumbing to feelings of shame, potential business loss, guilt for not seeking support, and a myriad of other emotions: disappointment, frustration, sadness, fear, and lack of self-confidence. I dove back into my addiction, thinking I could control it by "just doing lines." It took only a month before I found myself back on crack cocaine. I squandered all the money I had saved in less than two months, resorted to criminal activities, and repeated the vicious cycle. So, in the back of that police van, I sent a prayer of gratitude to God for seeing me through another addiction cycle alive. (Many of us aren't as fortunate.) Right then, I made a decision to rebuild my life, regardless of what awaited me next. 

After spending seven clean months at the Calgary Remand Centre, I applied to the TKO unit (Treatment-Knowledge-Opportunity), knowing that I could spend my remaining four and a half months there in a recovery-focused environment. I created a release and relapse prevention plan, which I continually refined every week. As part of my plan, I decided to reach out directly to Simon House. On May 9th, 2023, I arrived at Simon House. I have been here for a month, and on May 29th, I celebrated one year in recovery. 

I'd like to share some of the tools and techniques I've learned and incorporated into my life through Simon House and the TKO program. I've learned to recognize and regulate my emotional well-being, establish safe and healthy boundaries in my relationships with others and myself, improve my communication skills both verbally and through body language, manage anger in a non-aggressive manner, resolve conflicts, and identify triggers and high-risk situations. I've also learned how to incorporate these learnings into my relapse prevention plan. And that's just a part of what I'm doing; the list goes on. Additionally, I find solace in my spirituality through my connection with God, the 12-step program, and Aboriginal ceremonies. I've been fortunate to gain access to professional resources, support services, housing programs, mental health, and addiction counseling, among others. 

Choosing to come to Simon House has been the right decision for me. From the moment I walked through the doorway that first night at 10:30 p.m., after being driven here from CRC by a wonderful Angel from Calgary John Howard Society, I knew I would be okay. The staff here welcomed me with open arms, which surprised me since I had been dealing with prison guards for the past year, right up until half an hour before my arrival. Transitioning from the land of the lost to Simon House has been smooth. The brotherhood among the residents is amazing, the way everyone pulls together when someone is struggling or having a bad day truly demonstrates the effectiveness of the program. We have a range of counselors with diverse backgrounds, so when I need advice or professional help, it's not a one-size-fits-all approach. An added bonus is having alumni visit the house regularly, sharing their stories, leading meetings, and showing vulnerability, courage, and love. Simon House offers numerous opportunities for growth. 

I am immensely grateful to all the individuals involved in my recovery journey, to God, and especially to myself for finally reaching out and asking for help. It has been a challenging, tear-filled journey, with more to come, however, the tears will stop burning less and less. Just for today, I can proudly say that I am clean, living in recovery, and continuously progressing on this lifelong journey. 

— Daryl